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Sunday, February 24, 2013

Sweetly Broken

"We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreparably broken." --John Green

Before you dismiss that quote as pointless dreaming, as I did the first time I heard it, let me give you some examples of people who, just like you, once thought they were irreparably broken but discovered that they were not.

First, one of my lovely tumblr friends, posted a story about her venture into town to hang out with real people for awhile (really, who among us hasn't been guilty of shutting out the "real" world when we're struggling?) which resulted in the realization that she was not permanently broken:

I saw a guy who I’d met a few times and recognized. He rolled a fag for me because I’m really awful at rolling, and as he did so, I noticed masses of self harm scars up his arms, going right up his sleeves. I was a little shocked at first, and I had to look back a few times, although I was scared he’d notice. I realized that he must be proud of his scars, because he didn’t put a jacket on all night, he stayed in his short sleeved t-shirt, showing his scars off to the world. It really made me think that one day, when I’ve stopped and fully recovered, I will wear short sleeves and shorts, and I will not care what anyone thinks. I’ll be open about it, and I’ll tell people what I did to myself and why, and I’ll tell them that I recovered and that I’m proud of myself.
You can find and follow this lovely woman at WellWouldYouBelieve. She is fighting to recover from self-injury and, understandably, her tumblr does contain some triggering posts, so look with caution. 

Second, a blogger who, unfortunately I can't seem to find again (I'll post a link if I ever do), was considering what to tell her children about her scars when they were old enough to ask. I read on, but honestly expected her to come up with some elaborate excuse. Rather, she concluded that she would tell them the truth. Rather than broken beyond repair, she views her life experiences as teaching tools for her children. Now that's what I call seeing the good in things!

Finally, there's me. I thought I was broken beyond repair. I had given up my faith. I had given up most of my friends. I had just flat given up on life. I thought I had nothing left to offer and that there was nothing meaningful left for anyone to offer to me. Then, at my lowest, I reread some texts from an old friend. They made me realize that people did care, that my friend had both contributed valuable things to my life and thought I had valuable things to contribute to others. Now, I blog to let you all know you're not alone. I'd like to think that is evidence that I am not broken beyond repair, either.

So, when you find yourself getting down or thinking that you couldn't possibly go another day, remember - you are not broken beyond repair. You may not see it yet, or even for awhile, but you have something to contribute to this world. You are here for a reason. And you can be used, scars and all. In fact, those scars may be exactly what you can use to make this a better world. So take a deep breath, put away your blade (or whatever you use), and and do something nice for someone else. Trust me, it feels awesome.

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