Tonight, I went to Bible study for the first time in awhile, thanks to a crazy summer travel schedule. We were discussing the need to read the Bible on a regular basis. Then, our leader pointed out that, according to Romans 15:4, "For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope." See, spending time reading Scripture is supposed to inspire hope.
This got me thinking. Reading the scriptures lately only inspires a bleak hopelessness because I see the restrictions, and no promise of happiness or pleasure in this lifetime. Moreover, when I have spoken to church leaders about this, I'm simply told that I am not promised that this life will be anything positive, but that I will find happiness, pleasure, health, etc in the next life. I am simply expected to endure, cheerfully, what I am going through.
Here's the thing: I would love to be able to cheerfully endure. However, I do not find an outlook that only makes me wish to die healthy. That is not the intention of the Christians who tell me that this life will suck, but the next one will be good, but that is what those of us who struggle with depression and suicide hear. I also do not believe that God sent us here only to suffer. There will be suffering, absolutely, but that is not meant to be our entire life.
So, this is my confession: I do not currently enjoy spending time in the Word. However, I am attempting to intentionally spend more time reading and meditating over it. Eventually, I hope that the hope will return. In the meantime, I'm praying for hope for myself and for all of you.
Please leave a comment below or shoot me an email at hopeforsi@hotmail.com
Love y'all!
No comments:
Post a Comment