But seriously. I do love babies. They're excited about the world. They're constantly learning and growing and changing. And, best of all, they don't expect you to hold a conversation. Babies are also a reminder to me that life goes on, and that I can be new, too.
Tonight, God used a baby to remind me of a powerful truth. I was sitting at our house church, holding one of the many babies. She grabbed at my bracelet, and I looked down to see her beautiful, soft, unblemished arm laying along my forearm, which is riddled with scars. I tried to pull my arm away, self conscious about her and other church members seeing the scars, but she grabbed my finger.
I realized, then, that she doesn't care about my scars, she only cares that I hold and love and play with her. It was a poignant reminder not only that the past is the past, but that the scars that define me are not my own. My defining scars belong to a man who was nailed to a cross some 2000 years ago. He took my sins, my shame, my shortcomings, and endured my deserved punishment so that I could experience grace, forgiveness, love, and eternal life. Pretty amazing.
Don't get me wrong, the existence of this blog is proof that my scars are an important part of me. They are an important part of my faith. They are the reason I have a ministry at all. But they are not the essence of who I am. As a reminder, I am, and you are or can be, "forgiven, beloved, hidden in Christ, made in the image of the Giver of Life, righteous and holy, reborn and remade, accepted and worthy, this is our new name" (Jason Gray, "I Am New").
Feel free to leave comments or click here to email me at hopeforsi@hotmail.com. I'd love to talk more with you about faith, self injury, suicide, relationships, whatever you're dealing with. Love y'all!
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