My Treatment Journey

Today, I'm struggling to adjust to a new medication dosage, and as a result of feeling sick, I had planned not to post tonight. However, it occurred to me that perhaps a post on medication is needed.

When I first struggled with depression, I told no one. I believed there to be a stigma attached to mental health services, such as counseling and medication. Somehow, in spite of depression and suicidal fantasies, I survived high school and most of college without physical harm. Then, a little over halfway through my second year of college, I entered the world of self injury. I still sought no help, in large part because I wouldn't have known where to go anyway.

For the next five or so years, I struggled with depression and self injury on my own. I told no one and received no help. Though I saw the doctor for other reasons, none of them ever noticed or commented on the scars on my arms.

Finally, I told a couple of trusted friends and began to work through my issues with their help. I relied heavily on my faith, and theirs, to get me through. I began to see a counselor as well, and when the issues still continued, I finally agreed to go on medication. I was ridiculed by some "friends," even told that I wasn't a good enough Christian or I'd be able to cope without medication. They were wrong. With medication, along with the help of friends and faith, I went nearly a year with no self-harm issues. I even felt happy sometimes. Those of you who have dealt with self injury know what a miracle this is.

Now, due to some life issues, the depression and self injury has worsened again. After trying what I could on my own, I went back to my doctor to seek counsel. She suggested increasing my dose, and so that is what I am trying. The bottom line is this: You have to take care of you. Listen to the counsel of those around you, and certainly do not go against your own faith and morals, but in the end, do what you need to do to be healthy. There is nothing inherently wrong with counseling, medication, or other forms of help.