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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The Rainbow After the Storm

I'm still processing "the storm" referenced in the title of this entry. So, we'll focus on the rainbow.

Last night was rough, to say the least. Until a guy I hardly knew, and who I certainly never expected to respond to my message, responded. We'll call him Nick. He encouraged me. He asserted  that there was good in this world, even for me, at a time when I truly didn't believe it. And, in part because it was coming from someone who was not extremely close to me, I believed him.

Have you ever experienced the strange phenomenon of trusting people who don't know you more than those who do? There is just something about a stranger telling you things.... My loved ones, my close friends, I know they want me here and that they want me to stop self-injuring, so of course they will say things like, "There's always hope." But someone who has no vested interest in my life? They must be saying it because it's true. (Or at least that's how my thought process went last night.)

Let's be clear about the nature of this "rainbow," though. My depression is not over. My self-injury temptations are still there. The rainbow is simply the ability to see that there is some good in this life, even if I don't know what it is just yet.

So, hang in there, Loves, your rainbow is coming.

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